I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
