i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
