just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
We need to get me chipped asap
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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