plz talk dirty to me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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