I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
