I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am mentally ready for anal.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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