I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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