there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize