DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
