I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
