I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
