I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize