The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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