it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
