i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Damn victory sex feels great
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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