Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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