I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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