i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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