People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
