I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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