Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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