You're my little dorito
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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