Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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