we have officially lost it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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