i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
