my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
