My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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