It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
