I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
