i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize