What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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