I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
