I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
