He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just pee around me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
