A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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