So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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