if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
