I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
the raccoons are back...
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