operation harelip BJ is a go
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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