What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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