Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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