just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
