So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
