We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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