kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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