So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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