It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
