Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
