sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
