Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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