so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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