my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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