dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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