Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
