I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
