somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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