Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
