We're like a lot better than the average bears
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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