sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
