...so i touched it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
