there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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