yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
