The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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