Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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