Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
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You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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