is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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