it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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