i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
