A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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