i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
